Although I’ve kept up with all of you who are signed up for the emails I send out I haven't posted an actual blog in a while…I thought, “hey, it’s my birthday, why not?!” So this is what poured from my fingertips…
“For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”
When I recognized that 30 was coming to a close…an age I waited to reach in anticipation for 5 whole years, I decided to do some reflecting. The first thing that came to mind was that I don’t care if someone offered to fund my life for the rest of my life, I would never relive this year again. Ever! I began to ruminate on all the things that I lost, all the hurt, the attacks on people I love, the confusion…just all the bad stuff while ignoring all the good (because there was good).
I lost a lot in the physical, I was beat up emotionally, and spiritual attacks were severe but mostly because I decided to deal with them alone which probably wasn't the best decision I've ever made in life. I moved in my emotions when it came to handling my own stuff, which means things were often temporary and I spent a lot of time having to repair. My opinions shifted like the wind and my feelings went from both extremes in matters of days making for an unstable thought life.
The Holy Spirit gently nudged me during this time of reflection and encouraged me to look at where I have gained. The words that continued to play in my mind that day were, “to lose is gain”. And while I felt depleted of everything that I felt like I needed, everything I wanted, everything that has yet to come to pass God reminded me that there is more that I have gained in the spirit if I would just stop focusing on what I lost and what didn’t go like I thought it should. In other words, stop being a brat and change your perspective!
As I mentioned, there was some good! I had great moments! I got cool things! God has kept my family in spite of! Friends have overcome illness and recovered from surgeries! I grew in great relationships with some great people! I am apart of a great church family! God and my Pastor trust me enough to allow me to lead in various ways! I am blessed! But I decided to make a list of all the ways I grew spiritually, which honestly is the most important to me. While the material stuff is good, I believe that positive spiritual changes assist in a positive chain reaction everywhere else. So I learned:
Melanie N. Lee
I just REALLY love Jesus!!!
Get blogs straight to your inbox